End a Relationship without Feeling Guilty

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How to End a Relationship without Feeling Guilty

  Guilt keeps many people stuck in dysfunctional or codependent relationships because they prioritize other people’s needs and happiness above their own.   Generally, we hope or expect that relationships will last forever. We idealize close family ties, soulmates, and decades-long friendships. But sometimes this unrealistic expectation – that our relationships should last forever — […]

5 Myths About Codependency

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5 Myths About Codependency

  Challenging common myths about codependency Codependency is a confusing term. And regardless of whether you like the term or not, it’s become a popular way to talk about a group of traits and inter-personal relationship dynamics that are usually the result of childhood trauma (such as growing up in a dysfunctional family) or generational […]

Choose Yourself: You Matter

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Choose Yourself Because You Matter

  Do you back down from your boundaries and allow others to mistreat you? Do you ignore your needs so you can satisfy someone else’s needs? Do you ignore or minimize your feelings? Do you skip self-care because you’re busy taking care of everyone else and think you can do without? In other words, do […]

Learning to Trust Yourself Again

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Learning to Trust Yourself Again After a Toxic Relationship

  Healing from an unhealthy or toxic relationship involves learning to trust yourself again.   Unhealthy relationships erode your ability to trust yourself Unhealthy or toxic relationships can destroy your trust in others. For example, if your partner cheated on you or called you derogatory names, it makes sense that you may have trouble trusting […]

11 Relationship Red Flags and Why We Ignore Them

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Relationship Red Flags

  When a relationship ends or isn’t going well, it’s natural to reflect and wonder whether there were signs — or red flags — that your partner wasn’t a good match. You might find yourself thinking: Did I miss something? Were there signs that this relationship wasn’t going to work out? Why do I keep […]

Toxic Shame and How to Overcome It

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Healing from Toxic Shame

  What is toxic shame? Shame is often confused with guilt. Sometimes we use the terms interchangeably, but they mean different things. Guilt is the bad feeling you have when you’ve done something wrong. And if you’ve actually done something wrong, like run into your neighbor’s car, then you should feel bad. Guilt, in this […]

Tired of Trying to Please Everyone?

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Are you tired of trying to please everyone?

  Trying to please everyone is tiring. It’s also a waste of time! When you try to be all things to all people, no one is happy. You suffer because you give and give but don’t receive in return. Your health and well being are depleted and you eventually grow tired and resentful. And despite […]

The Difference between Having Needs and Being Needy

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The Difference between Having Needs and Being Needy

  Overcoming codependency and poor boundaries requires us to notice and value our personal needs, but many of us, understandably, deny our needs out of fear of being too needy. Codependency, people-pleasing, and boundary issues are rooted in our tendency to avoid our needs and feelings. Instead, we focus on taking care of other people’s […]

Codependents’ Guide to Detaching with Love

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Detaching with Love

  What is detaching with love? Detaching (or detaching with love) is a core component of codependency recovery. If you often feel worried about a loved one, disappointed or upset by their choices, or like your emotions revolve around whether they’re “doing well” or not, then detaching with love can help you. According to the […]