What is perfectionism? Perfectionism – the relentless pursuit of being flawless in an effort to prove our worth and avoid criticism — adds unnecessary stress and pressure to our already demanding lives. When we strive for perfection rather than excellence, we’re never satisfied. We always feel deficient because we’re comparing ourselves to an impossible […]
Being close to your family is usually a good thing, but it’s possible to be too close. Enmeshment describes family relationships that lack boundaries such that roles and expectations are confused, parents are overly and inappropriately reliant on their children for support, and children are not allowed to become emotionally independent or separate from […]
Codependents often focus on other people and their problems – sometimes getting obsessed with or fixated on helping or fixing things outside of their control. Not only can this lead to self-neglect, but it’s also frustrating and largely a waste of time and energy. Instead of focusing on things that we can’t control or […]
Perfectionism seems straightforward, but it’s often misunderstood. Many people think perfectionism helps them achieve their goals and get better results. American culture continues to encourage perfectionism despite all of the research that indicates perfectionism is associated with increased anxiety, depression, suicidal behavior, eating disorders, relationship and health problems.* The fallacy that perfectionism is helpful […]
Are you quick to blame yourself – even for things you didn’t do or couldn’t control? When things go wrong, is your immediate response “it’s all my fault” or “I shouldn’t have done that”? For many of us, self-blame and criticism are insidious. We’re unrelenting with our demands and expectations and we’re our own […]
What is overthinking? Do you spend countless hours rehashing mistakes you made? Do you worry about what others think of you? Do you struggle to make decisions — and get caught up in excessive researching in an effort to make the right decision? This is overthinking — a form of uncontrollable worry or rumination. It […]
Perfectionists suck at self-care. We’re much more concerned with goals and accomplishments than with our own wellbeing. Sometimes, we’re so busy that we don’t even realize that our drive to please people, avoid criticism, and prove we’re “good enough” is destroying our mental and physical health. Are You a Perfectionist? Perfectionists have impossibly high […]
Experiencing emotional abandonment in childhood can make us feel anxious, distrustful, ashamed, and inadequate – and these feelings often follow us into adulthood and make it difficult for us to form healthy, trusting relationships. What is emotional abandonment? Emotional abandonment means that someone important, someone you are counting on, isn’t there for you emotionally. Children […]
Are you an all-or-nothing thinker? Perhaps you see yourself as a success or a failure, attractive or disgusting, smart or stupid. And you see others as with you or against you, right or wrong, thoughtful or selfish. Seeing things as absolutes, black or white with no shades of gray in between, can leave you feeling […]
Perfectionism isn’t always about trying to be perfect. Learn about six hidden signs of perfectionism. Are you a perfectionist? The answer might not be as obvious as you think. When we think of perfectionists, we tend to think of people like Jo, Darren, and Pamela. Jo keeps an immaculate home. It looks more like a […]