Accepting What We Can’t Control

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Accepting What We Can’t Control

  How to cope when life doesn’t go as planned.   Life rarely goes according to plan. I used to think I could make a plan, work hard, and accomplish what I’d set out to do. I’m a planner. I like routines and consistency. I like to know what’s going to happen. I like it […]

End a Relationship without Feeling Guilty

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How to End a Relationship without Feeling Guilty

  Guilt keeps many people stuck in dysfunctional or codependent relationships because they prioritize other people’s needs and happiness above their own.   Generally, we hope or expect that relationships will last forever. We idealize close family ties, soulmates, and decades-long friendships. But sometimes this unrealistic expectation – that our relationships should last forever — […]

5 Perfectionist Traits that Are Holding You Back

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5 Perfectionist Traits that are holding you back

  Perfectionism can create more problems than it solves. Do you have any of these perfectionist traits – overthinking, overworking, criticizing, procrastinating, or being inflexible? If you do (and many of us do!), you know that perfectionism can be more of a hindrance than a help. On the surface, perfectionism seems like a good trait […]

5 Myths About Codependency

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5 Myths About Codependency

  Challenging common myths about codependency Codependency is a confusing term. And regardless of whether you like the term or not, it’s become a popular way to talk about a group of traits and inter-personal relationship dynamics that are usually the result of childhood trauma (such as growing up in a dysfunctional family) or generational […]

Choose Yourself: You Matter

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Choose Yourself Because You Matter

  Do you back down from your boundaries and allow others to mistreat you? Do you ignore your needs so you can satisfy someone else’s needs? Do you ignore or minimize your feelings? Do you skip self-care because you’re busy taking care of everyone else and think you can do without? In other words, do […]

Learning to Trust Yourself Again

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Learning to Trust Yourself Again After a Toxic Relationship

  Healing from an unhealthy or toxic relationship involves learning to trust yourself again.   Unhealthy relationships erode your ability to trust yourself Unhealthy or toxic relationships can destroy your trust in others. For example, if your partner cheated on you or called you derogatory names, it makes sense that you may have trouble trusting […]

11 Relationship Red Flags and Why We Ignore Them

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Relationship Red Flags

  When a relationship ends or isn’t going well, it’s natural to reflect and wonder whether there were signs — or red flags — that your partner wasn’t a good match. You might find yourself thinking: Did I miss something? Were there signs that this relationship wasn’t going to work out? Why do I keep […]

Seeking Self-Forgiveness

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Seeking Self-Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself Using Self-Compassion

  Seeking Self-Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself and Put an End to Self-Criticism Using Self-Compassion. As perfectionists and codependents, we tend to be overly self-critical. Sometimes we make significant mistakes, we hurt others, we screw things up in a big way, and need to apologize and make amends. However, often we’re harsh with ourselves for […]

6 Ways to Change Your All-or-Nothing Thinking

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6 Ways to Change All-or-Nothing Thinking and Cognitive Distortions

  Are you an all-or-nothing thinker? Perhaps you see yourself as a success or a failure, attractive or disgusting, smart or stupid. And you see others as with you or against you, right or wrong, thoughtful or selfish. Seeing things as absolutes, black or white with no shades of gray in between, can leave you […]