What are boundaries? All relationships need boundaries. A boundary is an imaginary line that separates me from you. They separate your physical space, your feelings, needs, and responsibilities from others. Your boundaries also tell other how they can treat you – what’s acceptable and what isn’t. without boundaries, people may take advantage of you because […]
Codependency is often misunderstood. It’s not just a label to slap on the spouse of every alcoholic. It encompasses a wide-range of behavior and thought patterns that cause people distress to varying degrees. I hope this article will help clear up some of the misconceptions about codependency and help you to understand codependency better. […]
Losing your sense of self Do you seem to get swallowed up in relationships? Does your sense of self disappear when you’re in a relationship? This “loss of self” happens, whether you’ve been married for decades or are newly dating, when the other person or relationship becomes your identity. You become all about the other person. […]
It isn’t easy to set boundaries with toxic people, but it’s something we can all learn to do and when we do, it’s empowering. Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. When we set boundaries, we’re less angry and resentful because our needs are getting met. Boundaries make our expectations clear, […]
Introducing 5 New Holiday Tip Sheets from Psychotherapist and Codependency Expert Sharon Martin, LCSW Are you dreading the holidays because of difficult people in your life? Do you tend to get stressed, sad, or overwhelmed during December? Do you want to set a positive tone for the holiday season? Would it be […]
Deciding whether to end a relationship is a big decision. In fact, it’s one of the things I see people struggle with the most as a therapist. For a codependent, the decision to leave a toxic or addicted partner is especially hard. You’ve tried and tried, but things don’t ever seem to get better (or […]
Overcoming any addiction requires a lifelong commitment to recovery. The road is a long one, and for many people, the prospect of seeking treatment is a bleak one. According to the American Addiction Centers, up to 90% of the people who struggle with addiction do not receive the treatment they need. Even those people who […]
We all like different things, so it only goes to follow that what’s fun for others isn’t necessarily fun for you. You can live more authentically when you discover what’s fun for you. Living authentically Living authentically means being true to yourself, having a strong sense of who you are, and behaving in ways […]
Codependency is most often the result of childhood trauma. But many readers have written to me, confused because they’re codependent and had a “normal” childhood. “I don’t understand why I’m codependent. I’ve read your posts, but I didn’t grow up in a dysfunctional family. How did this happen?” “Is it possible to be codependent if […]
This post contains affiliate links. After my recent blog post about growing up in an alcoholic family, I got a lot of requests for additional reading suggestions. We are fortunate that there are many helpful books for Adult Children of Alcoholics (ACOAs) on healing codependency, trauma, and relationship challenges. Below are some of […]