How to cope when life doesn’t go as planned. Life rarely goes according to plan. I used to think I could make a plan, work hard, and accomplish what I’d set out to do. I’m a planner. I like routines and consistency. I like to know what’s going to happen. I like it […]
Guilt keeps many people stuck in dysfunctional or codependent relationships because they prioritize other people’s needs and happiness above their own. Generally, we hope or expect that relationships will last forever. We idealize close family ties, soulmates, and decades-long friendships. But sometimes this unrealistic expectation – that our relationships should last forever — […]
Challenging common myths about codependency Codependency is a confusing term. And regardless of whether you like the term or not, it’s become a popular way to talk about a group of traits and inter-personal relationship dynamics that are usually the result of childhood trauma (such as growing up in a dysfunctional family) or generational […]
Do you back down from your boundaries and allow others to mistreat you? Do you ignore your needs so you can satisfy someone else’s needs? Do you ignore or minimize your feelings? Do you skip self-care because you’re busy taking care of everyone else and think you can do without? In other words, do […]
Some children don’t get much of a childhood. When children have to act like adults – taking responsibility for their siblings, parents, and running a household– there are lasting effects. What is a parentified child? A parentified child is one that has taken on some or all of their parent’s responsibilities. Out of […]
Healing from an unhealthy or toxic relationship involves learning to trust yourself again. Unhealthy relationships erode your ability to trust yourself Unhealthy or toxic relationships can destroy your trust in others. For example, if your partner cheated on you or called you derogatory names, it makes sense that you may have trouble trusting […]
Seeking Self-Forgiveness: How to Forgive Yourself and Put an End to Self-Criticism Using Self-Compassion. As perfectionists and codependents, we tend to be overly self-critical. Sometimes we make significant mistakes, we hurt others, we screw things up in a big way, and need to apologize and make amends. However, often we’re harsh with ourselves for […]
Trying to please everyone is tiring. It’s also a waste of time! When you try to be all things to all people, no one is happy. You suffer because you give and give but don’t receive in return. Your health and well being are depleted and you eventually grow tired and resentful. And despite […]
Has anyone told you that it’s mean or wrong to set boundaries? Well, one of the big reasons we avoid setting boundaries is that we mistakenly think they’re mean, harsh, and controlling. Often, we have these beliefs because others have reacted poorly to our boundaries in the past. If this has been your experience, let […]
Do you over-apologize? Over-apologizing refers to saying “I’m sorry” when you don’t need to. This could be when you haven’t done anything wrong or you’re taking responsibility for someone else’s mistake or a problem that you didn’t cause or control. Here are a few examples of over-apologizing. The waiter brings you the wrong order […]