What Is An Avoidant Attachment Style?

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What is an avoidant attachment?

    Approximately 25% of us have an Avoidant Attachment Style.   In my earlier post, What’s My Attachment Style and Why Does it Matter?, I explained the three primary attachment styles (secure, anxious, and avoidant) identified by psychologist Mary Ainsworth in the 1970s. Understanding your attachment style can help you create happier, healthier adult […]

Toxic Shame and How to Overcome It

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Healing from Toxic Shame

What is toxic shame? Shame is often confused with guilt. Sometimes we use the terms interchangeably, but they mean different things. Guilt is the bad feeling you have when you’ve done something wrong. And if you’ve actually done something wrong, like run into your neighbor’s car, then you should feel bad. Guilt, in this situation, […]

The Difference between Having Needs and Being Needy

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The Difference between Having Needs and Being Needy

  Overcoming codependency and poor boundaries requires us to notice and value our personal needs, but many of us, understandably, deny our needs out of fear of being too needy. Codependency, people-pleasing, and boundary issues are rooted in our tendency to avoid our needs and feelings. Instead, we focus on taking care of other people’s […]

Codependents’ Guide to Detaching with Love

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Detaching with Love

  What is detaching with love? Detaching (or detaching with love) is a core component of codependency recovery. If you often feel worried about a loved one, disappointed or upset by their choices, or like your emotions revolve around whether they’re “doing well” or not, then detaching with love can help you. According to the […]

7 Reasons It’s Hard to End Codependent Relationships

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7 Reasons it's Hard to End Codependent Relationships

  Why is it so hard to end codependent relationships? Codependency is a hard pattern to break. Even when you’re aware of it, it’s not uncommon to repeat the same type of codependent relationships, behaviors, and thoughts.  This is in part because codependency is learned in childhood – so it’s well-practiced and feels natural. But […]