Would you like to increase your self-esteem in 2020? Do you want to reduce codependency and perfectionism and treat yourself with more compassion? Even though nothing magically changes on January 1st, most of us like the idea of a fresh start. And the start of a new year is a natural time to look […]
It feels good to be praised, to have your feelings affirmed, to be told you did a good job, and to be appreciated. It’s normal to want validation from others – your parents, spouse, boss, friends — but some of us seek external validation to an unhealthy level. We rely on others to make […]
What is perfectionism? Perfectionism – the relentless pursuit of being flawless in an effort to prove our worth and avoid criticism — adds unnecessary stress and pressure to our already demanding lives. When we strive for perfection rather than excellence, we’re never satisfied. We always feel deficient because we’re comparing ourselves to an impossible […]
Being close to your family is usually a good thing, but it’s possible to be too close. Enmeshment describes family relationships that lack boundaries such that roles and expectations are confused, parents are overly and inappropriately reliant on their children for support, and children are not allowed to become emotionally independent or separate from […]
Are you self-critical? It’s easy to fall into a pattern of self-criticism. Often, we don’t even realize that we’re speaking to ourselves with harsh criticisms that we’d never use towards others. Self-criticism becomes hardwired into your brain Self-criticism is like a bad habit – the more we do it, the more it gets […]
Losing your sense of self Do you seem to get swallowed up in relationships? Does your sense of self disappear when you’re in a relationship? This “loss of self” happens, whether you’ve been married for decades or are newly dating, when the other person or relationship becomes your identity. You become all about the other person. […]
It isn’t easy to set boundaries with toxic people, but it’s something we can all learn to do and when we do, it’s empowering. Boundaries are a way to take care of ourselves. When we set boundaries, we’re less angry and resentful because our needs are getting met. Boundaries make our expectations clear, so […]
Nobody likes criticism, but some of us are particularly sensitive to it. Do you take it personally if your boss tells you to be quiet during a meeting? Does it ruin your day if someone gives you a judgmental glare when your child throws a tantrum? Do you feel like a failure when a client rejects […]